Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 4

OK, so it took me a minute but we are coming to a close to my birth stories but a beginning to a whole new chapter....

Let's RECAP!

My First birth in 2006 sadly ended with a Cesarean Operation, Yes I say Cesarean Operation because IT IS MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY! Who enjoys Surgery?!?! Anywho, I was diagnosed with pre-elcampsia at 29wks, admitted to the hospital on meds and bed-rest, I guess until I delivered. It was never really made clear. But one day my baby's heartrate was said to be having trouble so I had a Csec at 33wks and wasn't encouraged to breastfeed.
Second birth in 2008 and armed with more knowledge of birth and MYSELF, I was going for a vaginal birth. I was not going to be duped into another Csec. I asked many questions and was assured in knowing I could deliver the way my body was made to AND I DID! A SUCCESSFUL VAGINAL BIRTH in hospital and breastfed right away for the next year and a half.
Third birth in 2010 was my 'Coming Into' Birth. I was 'Coming Into' a competent, wise woman that chose to birth the way her ancestors before her, AT HOME. Minus the transfer to hospital for postpartum hemorrhage, this birth was relaxed, restoring, and truly inspiring. I wouldn't change anything and would repeat anytime. I also breastfed right away for the next 2 years.

My Fourth birth, there are NO WORDS, but for you all I will do my best to tell the story :-)

When I first found out I was pregnant in August 2012, I thought, WHAT THE WORLD!!!NOT AGAIN!!! It was a good and not so good shock because I just stopped breastfeeding my 2 year old and was enjoying the FREEDOM :-) From the moment I found out, I knew I wanted to have an Unassisted Birth. An Unassisted Birth is birthing without a licensed provider and is the way births have happened for years until the onset of modern medicine. It can be with a Doula, but its just you, your mate, and family if you wish. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want the judgments. I wanted this birth to be MINE. I have come a long way from the woman in 2006 who knew very little about her own body to a well-informed, student teacher in the art of the female's mind & body into motherhood. I wanted so much in the beginning, I became a bit obsessive and stressed about really going through with the pregnancy until I received some very helpful advice from another Mother that helped me bring my sanity back to focus.

7 months ;-)

I handled all of my own prenatal care. I made sure I ate well, kept active, and made time to be by myself. It wasn't easy also because we were transitioning from one home to another. Once we were settled in our own home again, I was able to really focus on the birth and in the event we needed to transfer to the hospital again.

To gain added peace of mind and more support, I decided to plan 'A Mother's Blessing' or some say Blessingway. It's different from a babyshower; the activities that take place within the event are more ritualistic and invoke bonding among the women in attendance. It is a time to celebrate the mother, sisterhood and birth itself. They can be planned in many ways. Having this event really helped to send the positive energy I needed to move forward in my decision to birth unassisted.

My Itinerary for 'A Mother's Blessing'

Bellycast my Husband and I made

My Birth Shrine

One thing that helped me when I was feeling down; I created a Birth Shrine before I became pregnant but after I knew I was pregnant it really came ALIVE. I would stare at my shrine in meditation, adding things to it that enhanced the GROWTH, LOVE, LIFE & SPIRIT I felt from it. Every woman should create a Birth Shrine whether she is pregnant or not. It is a place of all kinds of Birth, not just the physical manifestation of birthing a new being. And the best part about it is you can put whatever you want on it that is special to you.

My Mother's Blessing, My Birth Shrine, My Hunger for Knowledge of Self and of course My Need to Learn more about Birth is what guided and focused me on my path to having an Unassisted Birth and essentially to becoming a Traditional Midwife.

Back to the Pregnancy at Hand :-)

According to MY calculations I went past my Estimated Due Date by 6 days. 6 LONG DAYS LOL! I did get an ultrasound reading at 7 weeks at a free clinic and their Estimated Due Date was actually a week earlier. So by their calculation,knowing how the medical system works, I would have been over 1 week and 6 days and you know that would have been a recipe for Induction, also with my history of hemorrhage. We all know these babies come when they are good and ready to come ;-) and there is no need to rush them out!

On the day I went into labor, we went out to the park with family and friends and I walked and ran with the children, lol. I wanted things to start up! I had been feeling contractions but they weren't consistent. They would start and stop sending me through the motions... Later that evening things finally got rolling after 10pm. I didn't tell my husband yet, he had just went to sleep and I wanted to wait a while to make sure they didn't stop again. After a few hours, I felt they were getting more intense so I woke him up to let him know we have the GREEN LIGHT. I bounced and rocked on my birth ball for a while, got in the shower, back to the ball, got in the tub, back to the ball, threw up when I tried to lay down. ALLLLLL NIGHT it was pretty intense as time went by. I was in front of my Birth Shrine for the entire labor. I was checking the time every once and a while and next thing I know its 6 a.m. and I'm still in labor! I'm like WHAT IS THIS BABY WAITING ON!!! My last labor was only 5 hours!!! At this point I'm squatting, kneeling, standing, breakdancing, everything!!! I had my husband try to examine me and my mucus plug came out and he said it seemed like I was getting close to birthing.

Finally close to 11 a.m. my water broke by me pushing a bit. I had enough, s/he was coming out! We didn't know the sex at the time either :-) I was on all fours now. I pushed a few times and the head was right there, when I stopped it would get sucked back in. Pushed again and the head was out! My husband said s/he was looking right at him!!! The cord was around the neck so he lifted it from around the neck so I could push s/he out the rest of the way. I gave one big push and SHE was OUT!!! (11:10 a.m.) I sat down immediately so he could give her to me. I sat there just amazed that WE DID THIS!!! I began breastfeeding her and she latched right on :-) After about 10 minutes, I noticed a stream of blood come out of me. We knew what that meant. So I tried to push the placenta out but no placenta just more blood. So we decide to head to the hospital, thankfully its only 10 minutes away. We left our brand new baby girl at home with a Sister who was there with us to care for the children in case this would happen. We didn't take her with us because we felt she didn't need to go, there was nothing wrong with her. The hospital staff tried to send an ambulance for her but we refused. Once I was admitted, treated, and settled into a room my husband went home to get her to bring to the hospital so I could continue to breastfeed. We stayed overnight and went home the next morning.
For me this Birth was a Magical Moment in Reality. WE DID IT!!! IT WAS UNTOUCHED BY OUTSIDE INFLUENCES...

I encourage Women to Birth the Way You Want but with the Right Knowledge, Wisdom, and Overstanding of Birth and Knowing Your Strengths & Limitations so that your decisions are SOUND.
Right Knowledge of what birth really looks like and the mechanics of our bodies
Right Wisdom of asking the tough questions and applying what you learn
Right Overstanding of knowing when to seek help and having a confidence in Self to stand up for what you KNOW
Even though I had to go to the hospital at the end of both my homebirths, I would do it all over again. WE made ourselves AWARE of the safety & risks and we TOOK ACTION when it was needed.

If you or someone you know is bringing forth new life: BE POSITIVE, BE HELPFUL, BE ENCOURAGING
To All my Sisters: Learn Your Body & Self, inside out and outside in

If you want to know more about my 'Mother's Blessing', Birth Shrine, or have any questions send me an email at protectorofthewomb@gmail.com

Our Fam!

Check out my website Here

Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 3

After reading, I grant you will be inspired to research more about birth, yourselves, and begin to make a change or continue to work to enhance our futures.

Why does it matter how a women gives birth? She just lays down and pushes the baby out, right? No need to worry how she feels or is she comfortable, right? No need for the father to be present, right? She will be alright by herself, left with only the help of the medical staff, right? She should have her baby in a hospital no matter what, right?

Well... I have a difference in opinion to all of these questions.

I have told you about my first and second birth. My first horrific ordeal in the hospital with a cesarean operation, which led to a rather comforting and serene second experience, a vaginal birth. However, I didn't stop there. I wanted more for my family and for myself in birth. I wanted a more natural connection to my body and to my ancestors who have given birth naturally before me.

2009-2010 
While my third pregnancy was unexpected, I knew from the onset that I wanted to have a natural birth. It took me a while to choose a careprovider because honestly I wanted this birth to be "mine".

What do I mean by "mine"? I wanted this birth to be untouched by outside influences. I wanted to labor the way I wanted without interruption, without me laying on my back to birth, being able to eat and drink when I wanted, move the way I wanted and not told what to do every second of every hour as done in the hospital. I wanted to birth "my way" on "my terms".

At 18 weeks, I finally decided to see a Midwife at a Birthing Center. A birthing center is a nice alternative to the hospital setting. It is decorated for a home feeling and you have access to a huge Jacuzzi tub, in case you want a water birth. A birth center is also close to a hospital or a separate wing in a hospital in case a transfer is needed. They are run by Certified Nurse Midwives or Certified Professional Midwives and have an OBgyn on call for emergencies.

Once again, I was seeing a European Midwife, so I had my reservations again. I really wanted a Nubian Midwife. Was that too much to ask? I mean, I am a Nubian woman. Can I have a careprovider that looks like me and will give a little more care to my feelings as a Nubian woman? I was on the verge of just delivering at home because it was important to me to have a care provider I could relate to.

Thankfully we moved to Georgia, so I had the opportunity to choose another provider but I was 32 weeks along by this time. I began seeing a Nubian male OBgyn that was referred to us by our tribal family. He was very caring and didn't mind that I was still looking for the careprovider I wanted and that I wanted a homebirth. I saw him for 3 weeks until my Granny Midwife found me at a health conference! YES! I was ecstatic, FINALLY!

Even though I was 35 weeks now, I was glad we were brought together for this birth. For the next few weeks we met for my prenatals and prepared for the birth. I began gathering my supplies and prepared food for everyone who would attend.

The time had come... Sunday afternoon, my family and I went for a walk around my apartment complex and afterwards I took a shower. I was 39 weeks. I went into labor that night around 11pm. I began calling everyone after 12. Two of my tribal sisters came and my Granny Midwife and doula came an hour later. I was progressing well. I experienced labor with my second birth but I eventually gave in to an epidural but this time there was no going back! LOLOL I was all in and felt like I was going to crazy!!!

On the outside, I was told I appeared calm and collected but in my head I wanted someone to knock me out or something cause anything was better than what I was going through. I was moving everywhere from the couch to the birthing ball, to the toilet and finally in the tub. The moment I laid in that tub, I felt like I was in HEAVEN!! How could some warm water feel soo good!!!!

After about 20 minutes I felt the urge to push, but my Midwife was telling me not to yet, but I really felt I needed to, so I did. She examined me briefly and I was fully dilated. My water broke and I also felt I had a bowel movement too, a few pushes later and I birth my baby boy Seqenenre Ma'at! He swam right into his father's hands...He placed him on my stomach and we lay in the tub for a while looking at each other. He was born at 4:48am. Nebu and Sahura were brought in to see their baby brother too :-)

I labored for about 5 hours but it seemed like forever of course.

We did have to transfer to the hospital due to hemorrhaging but all was well with baby. He was absolutely perfect and we didn't allow them to do anything to him. Even though I had to transfer to the hospital, I don't regret my decision in any way to have a home birth. I will do it again and again, because the same results are not guaranteed. And I am just fine.

The decision to birth the way she wants is totally up to the woman. She is to be educated on the process of pregnancy, changes in her body, how to care for herself, bonding between her and her mate, bonding with other children, the options of how she wants to birth and more.

Your careprovider is an invited guest into your world. You call the shots not them. You have the say in your care and what happens during your birth.

We need to change the face of birth. If the maternity care system continues on the road its headed the process of birth will no longer be natural or your own. Someone else will have charge over your body as it happens already now.

Your pregnancy, body, birth are your OWN!

Seqenenre Ma'at

He Who is the Sun of Righteousness and Justice

Our Fam with One More to ADD!

Call of the Midwife

A Midwife is someone who provides a service to women, families, and their community.
She is a confidant, educator, healer, counselor, activist, so many traits that describe her nobility.
A Midwife provides personable holistic prenatal care to an expecting woman.
What does personable holistic care mean?
Personable means you can relate to this person. She is among your particular demographic or can relate to your demographic, whether it be race, social status, economic status, etc. Confiding in her is a breeze.
Holistic means she approaches birth as a natural occurrence and treats it as such. Birth will happen whether a woman pushes her baby out or not. The Midwife is there to observe and look out for any complications that may arise. Birth is a natural event that SOMETIMES needs medical assistance. It is not an event that needs medical assistance from the start, unless there were prior complications before pregnancy or created during pregnancy.
Therefore, a Midwife is someone who can relate to you personally that provides a natural option to birth.
Midwives are proactive; meaning they are there to ensure the mother is maintaining great health, positive mental attitude, and keeping active, that will all lead to a healthy pregnancy, well labored birth, and healthy baby.

Midwives have existed for hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of years.
In recent years, the last 500, they were ousted as witches or evil meddlers of magic, all because they were so revered and known as spiritual healers.
Midwives were placed on such a pedestal this made men's (European men) ego flare with rage. Why should this person receive such accolades?
And with the onset of hospitals, which began as places for the ill and old to go to die, people were given no other choice but to have their babies in hospitals.
Why bring a new human being into a setting of disease?
There is money to be made in birth and with Midwives taking a holistic approach this does not make much money.
The medical industry needs you so they can charge you for your hospital stay, drugs, and anything else in the hospital setting.
It was and is seen as the only option.

Homebirths are much older than hospital births and if this is how we gave birth with that spiritual healer, mother, Midwife, why not go back to tradition.
The maternal & infant mortality rates aren't getting better, especially among the black community.
So, why not go back to a method that obviously worked before the medicalization of birth.

I am currently a Student Midwife, continuing my birth work journey of helping my community realize the importance of natural birthing.
Natural birthing brings the family closer and creates a spiritual bond that lasts until our time comes to return to the source. It creates the peace of mind, body, and soul that is so needed within our society.
Midwives assist in creating this space of peace.
Do you know any Midwives? Look up a Midwife in your area, get to know her and what drives her to do the work she does.
I have heard the call and answer to be a spiritual healer, the great Midwife.

Find Your Purpose and Fulfill It!

I have heard  My Call and it is a Might One!
I have taken that ever shaky first step into fulfilling a purpose.
I have answered the call to Midwifery.

If you told me just 7 years ago, that this is what I'd be led to, I may have said "Yea Right!"
Little did I know at the time I was already on a path to assisting women and families on their journey to parenthood.

Becoming a Birth Worker in 2012 only added the icing to the cake.
I am now headed to completing the decorations :-)

Midwifery is an age old practice that has been around since women have been giving birth.
A Midwife was someone's grandmother, mother, aunt, sister, friend, and yes of course sometimes even husband.
Obstetrics & Gynecology are the neonates, being introduced in the 1900's.
Why trust your body and mind to a new thing, when its predecessor has superlatively more experience?

Midwives are the mothers to mothers.
Caring, yet stern.
Knowledgeable, but studious.
And consistently reliable.

I look forward to filling this role and ushering in the next generation.

What is your purpose and have you begun to fulfill it?

The Best Milk is Breastmilk

Choosing to breastfeed your baby is as simple as 'taking the wrapper off your favorite treat and partaking of its delicate deliciousness'. The  mouth watering savoriness of that sweet treat making pirouettes on your taste buds. This is the same feeling your baby gets when s/he first enters the world and 'roots' for that sweet taste of life that comes from Your Breasts...

And how could anyone deny this life nourishing nectar to our progenies so easily? Simply put, through false media propaganda.

Who said it was wrong to breastfeed our babies? Who made it shameful? Who made the breasts into oversexed objects not fit to provide nourishment? And for Nubian women, the damage is three-fold.

Our breastfeeding downfall began with the rise of slavery. Most of us were unable to mother our children due to long, hard, back-breaking labor days, some of us 'wet nursed' or breastfed the slave masters' children and  in turn we fed our children cornmeal with sap(kind of like an oatmeal). This led to a physical, emotional, and mental separation of mother and child, that has ultimately and sadly lasted throughout our generations.

Fast-forward to our so called emancipation, sisters were still at a disadvantage to nurse their children having to, again, work long hours as sharecroppers, maids, etc, continuing the cycle to be unable to tend to their children.

And then we thought we got out of it and could begin to heal our wounds....BOOM....the infant formula business came out like a vampire at night, sucking whatever life we had out of our breasts and into their pockets. Infant formula is a billion dollar business. Now imagine how the world would look if all that money went into promoting breastfeeding. Yes, the CEOs and Fortune 500's would gain less financially but we would flourish more abundantly in intelligence, health, and family prosperity. And it also doesn't help that this society, quiet as kept, has a patriarchal viewpoint and puts the woman down. In my opinion, is the ego of the European man. He barely respects his own woman, so how could he respect us.
In the meanwhile, the media industry involving movies, videos, commercials, magazines, books, etc, promote the oversexualization of women and our life giving parts; laying the last assault to our femininity and goddessitivity.

YES, GODDESSITIVITY! In reproduction, as an egg is released from our ovary and is met by a sperm, the spark of life is ignited and we grow within our womb of triple darkness, a new being. We create, fashion and mold this new life within our wombverse. What we breathe, take in mentally, eat becomes one with this life and therefore we become a God.

YES, I AM A GOD! 

When this new life is ready, it will be expelled from one verse to the next: our world; which is big, bright, and ever changing.

But back to breastfeeding.....

Now that we have gone through the lows of our natural ability being stripped away, what is stopping us now from retrieving it? NO ONE, YOU STAND IN YOUR OWN WAY

You can and should breastfeed your baby. Why? Don't you want the best for your baby? Don't you want them to be strong and intelligent? Don't you want to be the best mother you can be? AND THE SIZE OF YOUR BREASTS DO NO MATTER!

Not judging, but I see Nubian mothers, who formula feed, curse at their children and scold them unnecessarily. They are children. Breastfeeding creates a loving bond that leads a mother to care more what happens to the child; not saying you won't scold them but the swearing may be left to a minimum or none at all.

If nature didn't intend for the female body to grow and nourish another living being then why is it capable of such a feat. Why, without anyone telling the body to, does it create milk once a woman has given birth.

It is what we are meant to do.

I am encouraging Nubian women to take a breast and feed your baby the best milk for our species! No other milk is good enough and only a poor substitute for the REAL THANG!

Breastfeed Your Baby!

I applaud those Mothers, like myself, who have given the breast back to their baby :-) We can do it.....

One breast at a time...

Info on breastfeeding

101 REASONS TO BREASTFEED

The Black Woman's Guide to Breastfeeding

BLACK WOMEN DO BREASTFEED

Why Black Women are Less Likely to Breastfeed

YOUR GUIDE TO BREASTFEEDING

Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 2

My goal for you at the end of this story is to be inspired to research and learn more about birth, YOURSELVES, and reach out to others using sound right knowledge to assist in their birth journey. If you come with your own opinion, make sure its reasoned well and won't be offensive before speaking.

Every woman has a birth story even if she has never had a baby.

You know from part one of my birth story that I had a cesarean operation due to medical conditions.

Here's my second birth story... My VBAC Story 2008

After having my cesarean I felt defeated but not broken. I took that as a sign for me to embrace more of 'ME' and learn more about the human body and whether or not I really had a chance of giving birth the way our bodies are meant to. I DO NOT agree with

"Once a cesarean, always a cesarean"

This is not true for everyone and more women can be successful in a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) if given the chance to a trial of labor. Trial of Labor is allowing the woman's body to naturally go into labor without interventions.

I was enjoying motherhood to my little Nebu and learning every step of the way. I began studying and watching videos on VBACs, reproductive system, health & nutrition, process of labor and birth, cesarean operation, labor process in hospital, birth centers and home, breastfeeding, differences between Midwife and OB/Gyn, labor assistants, differences in nurses, how to take care of your body after birth and infant care, and more. I was ALL in! I also studied different cultural aspects of birth. 

My husband and I were comforted with a reconnection to our African ancestry and had found a family of 'like minds'. We accepted and now practice our original customs and way of life.

Me and Little Nebu, pregnancy #2, no belly yet :-)

With all this new found information and applying my tribal foundations, I was ready to have another baby. We discussed it and felt it was a good time. Our son was almost 2 years old and we knew we wanted him to have a sibling close in age so they could grow up together, like we did with our siblings.

I also read that the minimum amount of time to wait before attempting a VBAC is 18 months, any time before this there could be complications but it's only a possibility. If you wait the full 18+ months, then your odds of having a successful VBAC are greater.

In about a month, I was pregnant! I am so fertile; it doesn't take long at all...LOL

I was elated and worried what our new OB would say about me attempting a VBAC. I chose this OB because he had previously worked with  my family members and they said he was a good doctor and he assisted in VBACs before. I was also considered high risk due to the cesarean, so it was more out of precaution. He was African American too and that put me more at ease because previous doctors I was seen by, of other races, were not so courteous to me or body. However, I didn't know how this doctor's treatment towards me would be either, even though we were of the same race. At our first visit, I was still nervous at what he may say but once we started going over my options, I felt a flood of relief. Of course, at every visit he asked if this is what I wanted and every time it was a YES or really HELL YES!

As my estimated due date drew closer, we began to discuss how my labor would be handled and what we can expect from him and the staff. We told him our birth plans; to come in as soon as we knew labor had begun, skin to skin contact, breastfeeding right away, as little interventions as possible (but can be reasoned), music, minimum lighting if possible, no shots, less traffic in and out of room, etc.

2nd pregnancy 36 weeks

Of course we went to the hospital a few times thinking I was in labor. I was given a shot to slow contractions so that I would make it to my due date. I was around 38 weeks at the time, so I allowed it. I didn't get this far in my first pregnancy so I definitely wasn't rushing 'baby girl' out!

On the night my labor began, naturally :-), FOR REAL this time, (39 weeks and 1 day) there was a clear sky and the stars and moon shined so bright. It was the clearest I had seen in a while; a perfect night for birthing some would say. My labor began around 11 pm (Tuesday) with sporadic contractions that were manageable, at first. I was creating a hole in our living room floor, trying to ease my labor pains. We decided to leave for the hospital around 2am. We had to drop our son off at my mother's and while we were in the car, I let out a loud moan and I hear my little Nebu say "It will be alright Momma" the words of babes are so sweet, that made my heart skip :-)

The car ride to the hospital was not a fun experience at all!

3 am (Wednesday) We finally arrived and were taken to a room to check in. We set up our radio playing African music and the 'Om' chant and hung our ancestral prayers on the walls. I was able to walk for about 2 hours before being confined to the bed for monitoring. Some hours later, one of the nurses did a cervical exam and I was 6 centimeters. After that, I said to myself, "You know what? Since they got me in this bed, I'm going to go get that darn epidural, at least I can get a nap in." So, I got one.

When attempting a VBAC, some doctors hold off as long as possible on giving an epidural because it can mask the pain of a uterine rupture. In my case, I waited long enough so I could get one, if I wanted. The epidural helped a little but I could still feel the contractions. I was able to sleep for a while though. The epidural did slow things down but I needed a nap, and I had labored over 12 hours...

I was really glad they weren't bothering me much at all about attempting the VBAC or that I had been in labor for a while and really just let me be. I think it was the power of our ancestors keeping the negativity OUT.

Well a full day had passed and it was around 8am (Thursday) I began to feel pressure in my bottom. A nurse came in and did another exam and I was fully dilated. YES! She left out to call my OB to let him know my progress. My husband and I took the time to prepare ourselves for the birth listening to the 'Om' chant.

My OB arrived and asked if he could check me himself and I was ready to push. There was a bit of excitement in the room because my goal was very near and the nurses were excited too. There was a Caucasian nurse in the room by my side coaching me but when I looked again wasn't there anymore. Once again I think my ancestors kicked her out after the ordeal of our first birth. My husband noticed that at the time of the birth we had an all Nubian staff present in the room, which was a complete 180 from our first experience. The only Nubians I saw during my first birth were either cleaning my room or bringing my meals...smh 

I began pushing and was having trouble at first because of that darn epidural. I couldn't really feel how to push so I had to listen to the nurses and OB on when to push. At one point I said I couldn't do it but my husband and nurse assured me that I could and she was almost out. Every time I pushed she would come out and slide back in when I stopped. My OB suggested an episiotomy (a cut to widen the vaginal opening) since her head had been in the birth canal a while and maybe she was having trouble coming out, of course I was on my back too. I took a few minutes to really think it over but I really felt I could do it without that, but I agreed. There was a sense of urgency to make that decision too. Once he made the incision, I pushed as hard as I could and she was out and on my chest.

"I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!", was all I could think. I was in shock, I couldn't really think or do anything else but look at her and say WE DID IT! I was pushing for probably 20 minutes and she was born at 11:10 am. That was soooo easy, is what I thought next (yea with an epidural), LOL, it really was. You think you can't do but you really CAN. YOU CAN!

I bonded with her for a while until the placenta was birth and they took her to clean and measure, still in the room with us, which didn't take too long but long enough. I began breastfeeding right away and she latched on like a PRO. I was surprised that was so easy too. We didn't allow them to take her anywhere without my husband present and she stayed with me the entire time during our hospital stay.

Successful VBAC, tired from a long days work :-)

During this hospital experience everything was different, from the staff, to how I was treated, even how my husband and I were together. No longer feeling lost and bewildered on what would happen next. We enjoyed the company of the nurses too. Everyone wanted to know what we were listening to, what our prayers meant, and just about us.

I thank my husband, MYSELF, and my ancestors for guiding me and for instilling within me the wisdom to seek more, ask questions and help others do the same.

Birth in this country has sadly taken a downward turn from it being a natural, beautiful process to being medically dramatic with unnecessary interventions.

Pregnancy is not a medical condition. It is a NATURAL condition that SOMETIMES needs medical attention.

Let us help each other give birth back to the Mother, so that she can make the decisions on her care and how she wants to give birth; even for those who need medical assistance. We can help them ask questions about their options for the best care to fit their needs. 

We can change the future of birth...

BIRTH MATTERS!

WE WILL DO IT!

A stable family sets a solid foundation for a strong community

And of course this is NOT the end of my birth journey. I went from there to have 2 successful home births, so there is still more to come...


Below are some websites to visit about VBAC:
13 VBAC Myths

VBAC

I CAN

Univ. of Maryland: VBAC

Honesty and Education to End Maternal & Infant Mortality

I recently read a story about a young Nubian sister who died giving birth at 32 weeks pregnant. The story says she may have gone into spontaneous labor and the baby was still born and apparently she bled to death. There wasn't much to read, which led to a flood of questions.
Read the Story Here

What made this young lady feel like she couldn't let anyone know she was pregnant? If she was noticeably pregnant, why didn't anyone assist her? When she went in to labor, why didn't she call out for help? What made her feel the way she did to go at this all alone?

First and foremost, I want to say to my Nubian sisters, it doesn't matter what AGE you are, bringing another being into this world is a BLESSING and humbling experience for any woman. You should not feel ashamed or afraid of what others will say. The only thing they should be saying is congratulations, giving words of encouragement.

It is TIME for us as woman to stop looking down on each other when women who are not married, young, or whatever her situation, comes into motherhood.

She is intelligent, strong, beautiful no mater what!

YES, it is best for a young lady to wait until SHE AND HER PARENTS have properly chosen a mate for her, have a courting period where both families get to know the other, have a ceremony of union and then start a family.

 

We know this is not always the case.

But however a child is brought into this world, should always be a time of celebration, growth and support for the new mother and her family.

There was no reason this young lady and her baby should not be among us today.

Let's us educate ourselves and our young ladies on the importance of knowing our bodies, the process of birth and motherhood, to put an end to senseless tragedies such as this, using evidence based information, so we can make sound right decisions using right knowledge.

This passing of mother and child most definitely could have been prevented had she simply asked for help or someone come to her aid before the event took place.

I am making the pledge to study, research, and apply what I have learned so the women I encounter will know how our bodies function, the process of birth to motherhood, how to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and more.

What will you do to ensure these events don't happen to the next young lady within our community?

Saving Our Future

The Real Danger in Black Communities

Maternal Marital Risk

Black Infant Mortality

Colorlines

Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 1

Every woman has a birth story even if she has never had a baby. She knows someone who had a baby or maybe read an article, book or even overheard a conversation. However she knows her story, it will be enrooted in her for a lifetime. The GOOD, THE BAD, and THE UGLY of it all. These stories MATTER to our upcoming mothers to know what to expect and know all the glorious details of birth. I'm going to tell you my birth story.

It began in 2006...

At the tender age of 25 I became pregnant with my first child. What an exciting time, right?! I felt I had my life in order according to my family traditions. After high school I went to college, got a job, graduated, married my college sweetheart, and was on my way to motherhood. Nothing could have been sweeter. 

                                                    Me after I found out  I was Prego :-)

But... I really didn't know anything about my body, which lead to the most tragic course of events I've ever been through. At just 29weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia.

What the heck is pre-eclampsia?! Well...it is a combination of symptoms, such as: high blood pressure, protein in the urine, migraine headaches, blurred/spotted vision, to name the most obvious; these symptoms can lead to your body having seizures while pregnant and can lead to coma or loss of baby/mother.

By the way I was seeing a Caucasian CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) and I guess I was planning to have my baby in the hospital anyway since I didn't know any different, but oh how the boat rocked...

I was admitted to the hospital for a grueling month and it could have been longer. I was pumped with medications that made me feel like a boulder, HEAVY. I couldn't switch sides by myself. My husband literally had to help me switch from my right to left side and vice versa and lying on my back was not an option. I think I was seen by every doctor on the labor ward. There was someone new everyday! I didn't like that AT ALL. WHY can't I continue to see one person??!! It was a teaching hospital. If I had known, I would have told them I didn't want to be seen by students, but I figured they needed the experience so why not, but now I will say HELL NO! Let somebody else be your guinea pig.

                                                                    Before Surgery

At 33 weeks the Nurses noticed my baby's heart rate was in "distress" so they tried to induce me. I knew it would not work because I was too early, of course. After the induction didn't work, I was scheduled for a cesarean operation. When I think about it now, they never said how his heart rate was during the 24 hours I was being induced. Hmmmmm...Maybe they just wanted my behind up out of there to fill my bed with someone who was actually in labor...

One thing I absolutely DID NOT like was how many times that darn Caucasian OBgyn was checking my cervix to see if I had dilated. And I could tell the Nurse wanted to say something about him rechecking but even Nurses opinions get overlooked by the OB's because some of them have this attitude of "What I say goes and your just a Nurse what the hell do you know" Oh and my husband didn't like it one bit either! Honestly, I felt like I was being molested, FOR REAL

After that unpleasantness, I had the cesarean operation and I got to see my little baby boy for about 1 min and then he was whisked away to the NICU. He was 3lbs 6oz, but he was healthy and strong. He was breathing on his own and all his organs and systems were working perfectly. He was kept in the hospital for a month under "observation" and until he gained 1lbs, they said. We feel he was being held hostage until they said he could leave. I mean it was there decision to do the cesarean in the first place, now he's being held captive!

(This video is a NICER version of cesarean. Keep in mind fetal distress, dystocia, multiple births and breech are not always reasons for getting this operation)

During my recovery, I pumped my milk but I was never encouraged to just BREASTFEED, even when I visited him the day after surgery. I wish the Lactation Consultant (who brought me the pump!!!) Nurses or SOMEONE would have said the best thing for him as a preemie is for you to breastfeed since he is doing good. Even when I would visit him at the hospital, no one said go ahead and breastfeed. NO ONE! And even though I was pumping, whenever my husband would deliver the milk the Nurses informed him that if they run out of breast milk they give him formula. SAY WHAT?!?!?!

                                                                     Hospital Visit

Needless to say, I was defeated and when my baby did come home I continued to formula feed him. If only I had that support and encouragement, I know I would have breastfed because I have breast fed 3 babies after that! And the fact that I pumped for a month was screaming to SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO BREASTFEED! I did read a book on breastfeeding but I still needed that extra encouragement to JUST DO IT.

The reason for acknowledging what race my care providers were is because treatment of black women is different compared to those of other races. Not only that, the treatment was very impersonal.  The doctors or students didn't care about how I felt or didn't ask what I thought about the treatments. They said everything as if that was the final word and there was no changing it or discussing any options.

My subsequent births were with African American care providers and my care with them was the complete opposite. I felt because we were of the same race they could empathize with my need for respect and to be treated like a competent person who can make my own decisions. I'm sure not all Caucasian care providers are like that and maybe not all African American are so caring. But this was my experience...

My first birth was not what I expected and left me fragile, but not broken. I researched anything on birth, vaginal birth after cesarean, health, nutrition, conception, home birth vs hospital, birth centers, Midwife vs OB, Doulas, laws on birth, even how the reproductive system works to gain a better understanding.

With time and patience, I grew to be the person I am now. Eager to help other women realize the potential for their birth and not allow it to be another tragic tale added to negative statistics.

Every woman deserves to birth the way she sees it in her mind, wherever she wants and when her body says its ready.

To Be Continued.....

                                                               Little Nebu 1yr old :-)

Birth Matters!

BIRTH MATTERS!

 

Why should it matter how a woman gives birth, where she gives birth, who's her care provider, what tests are administered, how her overall health is? And on and on... Why should these things matter? They matter not only for the outcome of a healthy mom and baby, but also the experience, the psychological imprint that is left on the mother and baby that have lasting affects on the lives of both, including the Father.

Have we ever considered the way a woman gives birth leads to the behavioral, emotional, and mental outcomes of our society. How a woman feels, thinks, and acts during her pregnancy has an outstanding affect on the future development of her baby; whom will one day be an adult. Will this individual be an exceptional addition or a destructive delinquent?

 

 

 

 

  

 

It is obvious the world we live in is based on a patriarchal demeanor, where (some) men have made themselves 'the authority' rather 'the protectors'. And this wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have their nose where it didn't belong, literally. (European) Male dominance is the reason for birth taking the turn it has within the last century. This is my opinion based on research, you can agree or disagree. Take or leave it, love it or hate it!!! If our mothers, grandmothers, sisters hadn't been given a backseat to these men in their need for power, Midwives and other birth attendants would never have decreased in number. The care of women would have remained with the ones who share the same makeup and understanding. Don't get me wrong, some men are very caring providers, but the majority seem to be in it for the paper and power!

 

 

With female attendees there was no need for 'twilight sleep', restraints, pathology of pregnancy, birth injuries due to forced extraction, fetal monitoring, etc; they understand the female body and birthing process.

 NO!

 

Birth is and always has been a natural process of the procreation of our species. Of course, things happen unexpectedly in birth. It is a time of great transformation within the female body. Can we focus on the positive, having a healthy pregnancy and birth and address the pressing issues as they arrive, not the other way around; because who's to say that a problem will surface? Only the essence of nature itself knows that. Pregnancy and birth is a natural occurrence that SOMETIMES requires medical attention.

 

 

 

 

 

How you birth matters. It matters to the mother, the baby, and the future of our society. Let's bring awareness, education, and reform to pregnancy and birth.

 

JOIN THE NATIONWIDE RALLY TO IMPROVE BIRTH on September 2, 2013.

Visit http://www.improvingbirth.org/

 

 Our future generations are counting on us to make the change NOW!

What will you do to help improve birth?

 

 

"I Thought I was Dying!" A Mom's Daunting Nightmare

My baby was only a couple of months old and I started to feel like I had the flu and my left side from my breast down was so sore. I couldn't hardly eat, sleep, or rest well. Not to mention my left breast was starting to swell and become painful to touch with anything.
 

I was beginning to get so sick that I could barely lift my child, and what scared me the most was, it happened FAST, over a few days!
 

Being a new mother, I was not sure what was wrong, asking my mother had she experienced it wasn't a help either because she hadn't experienced this ailment either with my sister or myself as babies. So, we called the doctor and I was told to come in for a checkup.
 

Once there, the doctor smiled after checking me and told me that I had Mastitis. Scared to death, I asked a million questions at once. Bottom line, I wanted to know how did I get it and was it killing me! 
 

My doctor laughed and told me it was not killing me, that it was backed up milk in my breasts milk ducts and luckily there was no infection. 
 

By this time my left breast had swollen so big that none of my tops fit properly and I looked strange to say the least.
 

So how did I get rid of this swollen milk blocked breast? Simple, apply some warm compresses to it and breast feed from it. I thought my doctor was crazy! I was sure he was wrong, but he assured me that all I had to do was just that and I would be fine, and that my breast would go back to normal size. But he warned me that because it was blocked up, that there would be a lot of milk coming out initially, so to have plenty of bottles beside me to fill up first and then breast feed my daughter when most of the milk was unblocked. 
 

Now that I knew I wasn't deathly ill, I asked how did I get this "mastitis"? The answer was so simple, I had to laugh at myself. The doctor asked me what side did I feed from the most. I only fed from the right side! That was my problem. I didn't know that I was supposed to breastfeed from both sides each time I fed my baby. Now that I knew the right way to breast feed, I was given pain and inflammation instructions to help the breast to relax and release the milk easily and a quick stop to purchase more bottles and home I went to pump and feed like the milk factory I had become.
 

Mastitis or "milk stasis" is something that mothers should be aware of. It can be caused by not properly feeding or by not properly caring for the breast and/or nipples. I was lucky that there were no other causes to my ailment, because there could have been. But to those who are mothers for the first time, make sure you know the proper way to feed including the proper way to care for your breast and nipples because it's important to your health and your baby's health as well. Not to mention, you don't want to go through anything near what I went through or worse!
 

Breastfeeding is such a beautiful experience and it creates a unique bond between you and your child that will never go away.
 

I know life can be busy for many moms today, but remember moms, take care of yourself, especially those breasts, it provides Nature's BEST food and immune builder for those little angels we create. 
 

For more information on Mastitis (Milk Stasis) you can view the link below or do some research on your own.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_mastitis_251.bc
 

Happy bonding,

Christina Leslie

Breastfeeding Peer Counselor

"Clever Poppycock" a.k.a. Intellectual Nonsense

This post is dedicated to all the nonbelievers, naysayers, doubters, the unfaithful minds that create in women a sense of uncertainty in her ability to give birth the way nature intended. I know, I know there are already so many, articles, blogs, books, etc on the topics of birth, pregnancy, and women, but I haven't given my thoughts yet....

Clever poppycock is the ingenious nonsense, babble that has been fed to women over generations by "the authorities that be" on how we should be delivering our babies, "OUR BABIES". From my understanding, me and the man I chose created this being so how is it that my "careprovider" decides how, when, and where I have MY BABY.  

Let me tell you a longer then short story...A 25 year old woman becomes pregnant with her first child (yes, ME). Everything seems to go well, she's seeing a Midwife (of the Caucasian race AND we are already worlds apart). At 28 weeks this young woman is diagnosed with pre-eclampsia (a collection of symptoms that leads to not so great circumstances). Fast forward, she is pumped with drugs and weeks later a cesarean operation is performed due to "fetal distress". Keep in mind this young lady is CLUELESS and following doctor's orders, all the while with a million unanswered questions in her mind that she is too afraid to ask or just doesn't know she can ask. A nightmare of perplexed, misguided fortune. How the tables could have turned if she stood her ground to ask ONE question from the very beginning, "What will be the course of treatment and what are my options?" How simple is that, but if you don't know you can ask questions, you most certainly will not get answers. This may not go for all careproviders, but I see the vast majority is not interested in you telling them how you will be treated. We all know the saying "Its my way or the highway" and what type of customer service is that. I thought the customer is always right? I guess not when you are having a baby, they already know whats best and you know NOTHING.

To shorten this story, this same young lady armed herself with knowledge and went on to give birth to 3 more children vaginally (1 hospital and 2 home births), something that is still to do this day some say shouldn't be done. The coined phrase "Once a cesarean, always a cesarean" by OB/Gyn Edwin Craig, should be thrown to the cosmos and forgotten FOREVER! Now there are some cases who may need a repeat cesarean but this is not the case for everyone. Just as most women do not need to have their baby in a hospital setting because we think its "safer". Hospitals are places where sick people go, supposedly to get better. It is not a place for pregnant women. YOU ARE NOT SICK. Hence the clever poppycock of it all that we have fallen into for decades. I just have one question, "Before there were hospitals, where do you think women gave birth and who attended them?" If you don't know, do some research. Plain and Simple.

We must educate ourselves not only for the future of our descendants, but so we can take a stand now before our decision to birth the way we want is made obsolete...that should be frightening. Tell those clever poppycocks (careproviders, friends, and family)no more of your getting in between my sheets, my cervix, my breastmilk! I can have the birth of my dreams and it doesn't have to be in a hospital, painful, and drugged up! Say it loud, BIRTHING MY WAY! GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU CLEVER POPPYCOCK!