Why does it matter how a women gives birth? She just lays down and pushes the baby out, right? No need to worry how she feels or is she comfortable, right? No need for the father to be present, right? She will be alright by herself, left with only the help of the medical staff, right? She should have her baby in a hospital no matter what, right?
Well... I have a difference in opinion to all of these questions.
I have told you about my first and second birth. My first horrific ordeal in the hospital with a cesarean operation, which led to a rather comforting and serene second experience, a vaginal birth. However, I didn't stop there. I wanted more for my family and for myself in birth. I wanted a more natural connection to my body and to my ancestors who have given birth naturally before me.
2009-2010
While my third pregnancy was unexpected, I knew from the onset that I wanted to have a natural birth. It took me a while to choose a careprovider because honestly I wanted this birth to be "mine".
What do I mean by "mine"? I wanted this birth to be untouched by outside influences. I wanted to labor the way I wanted without interruption, without me laying on my back to birth, being able to eat and drink when I wanted, move the way I wanted and not told what to do every second of every hour as done in the hospital. I wanted to birth "my way" on "my terms".
At 18 weeks, I finally decided to see a Midwife at a Birthing Center. A birthing center is a nice alternative to the hospital setting. It is decorated for a home feeling and you have access to a huge Jacuzzi tub, in case you want a water birth. A birth center is also close to a hospital or a separate wing in a hospital in case a transfer is needed. They are run by Certified Nurse Midwives or Certified Professional Midwives and have an OBgyn on call for emergencies.
Once again, I was seeing a European Midwife, so I had my reservations again. I really wanted a Nubian Midwife. Was that too much to ask? I mean, I am a Nubian woman. Can I have a careprovider that looks like me and will give a little more care to my feelings as a Nubian woman? I was on the verge of just delivering at home because it was important to me to have a care provider I could relate to.
Thankfully we moved to Georgia, so I had the opportunity to choose another provider but I was 32 weeks along by this time. I began seeing a Nubian male OBgyn that was referred to us by our tribal family. He was very caring and didn't mind that I was still looking for the careprovider I wanted and that I wanted a homebirth. I saw him for 3 weeks until my Granny Midwife found me at a health conference! YES! I was ecstatic, FINALLY!
Even though I was 35 weeks now, I was glad we were brought together for this birth. For the next few weeks we met for my prenatals and prepared for the birth. I began gathering my supplies and prepared food for everyone who would attend.
The time had come... Sunday afternoon, my family and I went for a walk around my apartment complex and afterwards I took a shower. I was 39 weeks. I went into labor that night around 11pm. I began calling everyone after 12. Two of my tribal sisters came and my Granny Midwife and doula came an hour later. I was progressing well. I experienced labor with my second birth but I eventually gave in to an epidural but this time there was no going back! LOLOL I was all in and felt like I was going to crazy!!!
On the outside, I was told I appeared calm and collected but in my head I wanted someone to knock me out or something cause anything was better than what I was going through. I was moving everywhere from the couch to the birthing ball, to the toilet and finally in the tub. The moment I laid in that tub, I felt like I was in HEAVEN!! How could some warm water feel soo good!!!!
After about 20 minutes I felt the urge to push, but my Midwife was telling me not to yet, but I really felt I needed to, so I did. She examined me briefly and I was fully dilated. My water broke and I also felt I had a bowel movement too, a few pushes later and I birth my baby boy Seqenenre Ma'at! He swam right into his father's hands...He placed him on my stomach and we lay in the tub for a while looking at each other. He was born at 4:48am. Nebu and Sahura were brought in to see their baby brother too :-)
I labored for about 5 hours but it seemed like forever of course.
We did have to transfer to the hospital due to hemorrhaging but all was well with baby. He was absolutely perfect and we didn't allow them to do anything to him. Even though I had to transfer to the hospital, I don't regret my decision in any way to have a home birth. I will do it again and again, because the same results are not guaranteed. And I am just fine.
The decision to birth the way she wants is totally up to the woman. She is to be educated on the process of pregnancy, changes in her body, how to care for herself, bonding between her and her mate, bonding with other children, the options of how she wants to birth and more.
Your careprovider is an invited guest into your world. You call the shots not them. You have the say in your care and what happens during your birth.
We need to change the face of birth. If the maternity care system continues on the road its headed the process of birth will no longer be natural or your own. Someone else will have charge over your body as it happens already now.
Your pregnancy, body, birth are your OWN!
Seqenenre Ma'at
He Who is the Sun of Righteousness and Justice
Our Fam with One More to ADD!
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