Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 3

After reading, I grant you will be inspired to research more about birth, yourselves, and begin to make a change or continue to work to enhance our futures.

Why does it matter how a women gives birth? She just lays down and pushes the baby out, right? No need to worry how she feels or is she comfortable, right? No need for the father to be present, right? She will be alright by herself, left with only the help of the medical staff, right? She should have her baby in a hospital no matter what, right?

Well... I have a difference in opinion to all of these questions.

I have told you about my first and second birth. My first horrific ordeal in the hospital with a cesarean operation, which led to a rather comforting and serene second experience, a vaginal birth. However, I didn't stop there. I wanted more for my family and for myself in birth. I wanted a more natural connection to my body and to my ancestors who have given birth naturally before me.

2009-2010 
While my third pregnancy was unexpected, I knew from the onset that I wanted to have a natural birth. It took me a while to choose a careprovider because honestly I wanted this birth to be "mine".

What do I mean by "mine"? I wanted this birth to be untouched by outside influences. I wanted to labor the way I wanted without interruption, without me laying on my back to birth, being able to eat and drink when I wanted, move the way I wanted and not told what to do every second of every hour as done in the hospital. I wanted to birth "my way" on "my terms".

At 18 weeks, I finally decided to see a Midwife at a Birthing Center. A birthing center is a nice alternative to the hospital setting. It is decorated for a home feeling and you have access to a huge Jacuzzi tub, in case you want a water birth. A birth center is also close to a hospital or a separate wing in a hospital in case a transfer is needed. They are run by Certified Nurse Midwives or Certified Professional Midwives and have an OBgyn on call for emergencies.

Once again, I was seeing a European Midwife, so I had my reservations again. I really wanted a Nubian Midwife. Was that too much to ask? I mean, I am a Nubian woman. Can I have a careprovider that looks like me and will give a little more care to my feelings as a Nubian woman? I was on the verge of just delivering at home because it was important to me to have a care provider I could relate to.

Thankfully we moved to Georgia, so I had the opportunity to choose another provider but I was 32 weeks along by this time. I began seeing a Nubian male OBgyn that was referred to us by our tribal family. He was very caring and didn't mind that I was still looking for the careprovider I wanted and that I wanted a homebirth. I saw him for 3 weeks until my Granny Midwife found me at a health conference! YES! I was ecstatic, FINALLY!

Even though I was 35 weeks now, I was glad we were brought together for this birth. For the next few weeks we met for my prenatals and prepared for the birth. I began gathering my supplies and prepared food for everyone who would attend.

The time had come... Sunday afternoon, my family and I went for a walk around my apartment complex and afterwards I took a shower. I was 39 weeks. I went into labor that night around 11pm. I began calling everyone after 12. Two of my tribal sisters came and my Granny Midwife and doula came an hour later. I was progressing well. I experienced labor with my second birth but I eventually gave in to an epidural but this time there was no going back! LOLOL I was all in and felt like I was going to crazy!!!

On the outside, I was told I appeared calm and collected but in my head I wanted someone to knock me out or something cause anything was better than what I was going through. I was moving everywhere from the couch to the birthing ball, to the toilet and finally in the tub. The moment I laid in that tub, I felt like I was in HEAVEN!! How could some warm water feel soo good!!!!

After about 20 minutes I felt the urge to push, but my Midwife was telling me not to yet, but I really felt I needed to, so I did. She examined me briefly and I was fully dilated. My water broke and I also felt I had a bowel movement too, a few pushes later and I birth my baby boy Seqenenre Ma'at! He swam right into his father's hands...He placed him on my stomach and we lay in the tub for a while looking at each other. He was born at 4:48am. Nebu and Sahura were brought in to see their baby brother too :-)

I labored for about 5 hours but it seemed like forever of course.

We did have to transfer to the hospital due to hemorrhaging but all was well with baby. He was absolutely perfect and we didn't allow them to do anything to him. Even though I had to transfer to the hospital, I don't regret my decision in any way to have a home birth. I will do it again and again, because the same results are not guaranteed. And I am just fine.

The decision to birth the way she wants is totally up to the woman. She is to be educated on the process of pregnancy, changes in her body, how to care for herself, bonding between her and her mate, bonding with other children, the options of how she wants to birth and more.

Your careprovider is an invited guest into your world. You call the shots not them. You have the say in your care and what happens during your birth.

We need to change the face of birth. If the maternity care system continues on the road its headed the process of birth will no longer be natural or your own. Someone else will have charge over your body as it happens already now.

Your pregnancy, body, birth are your OWN!

Seqenenre Ma'at

He Who is the Sun of Righteousness and Justice

Our Fam with One More to ADD!

Call of the Midwife

A Midwife is someone who provides a service to women, families, and their community.
She is a confidant, educator, healer, counselor, activist, so many traits that describe her nobility.
A Midwife provides personable holistic prenatal care to an expecting woman.
What does personable holistic care mean?
Personable means you can relate to this person. She is among your particular demographic or can relate to your demographic, whether it be race, social status, economic status, etc. Confiding in her is a breeze.
Holistic means she approaches birth as a natural occurrence and treats it as such. Birth will happen whether a woman pushes her baby out or not. The Midwife is there to observe and look out for any complications that may arise. Birth is a natural event that SOMETIMES needs medical assistance. It is not an event that needs medical assistance from the start, unless there were prior complications before pregnancy or created during pregnancy.
Therefore, a Midwife is someone who can relate to you personally that provides a natural option to birth.
Midwives are proactive; meaning they are there to ensure the mother is maintaining great health, positive mental attitude, and keeping active, that will all lead to a healthy pregnancy, well labored birth, and healthy baby.

Midwives have existed for hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of years.
In recent years, the last 500, they were ousted as witches or evil meddlers of magic, all because they were so revered and known as spiritual healers.
Midwives were placed on such a pedestal this made men's (European men) ego flare with rage. Why should this person receive such accolades?
And with the onset of hospitals, which began as places for the ill and old to go to die, people were given no other choice but to have their babies in hospitals.
Why bring a new human being into a setting of disease?
There is money to be made in birth and with Midwives taking a holistic approach this does not make much money.
The medical industry needs you so they can charge you for your hospital stay, drugs, and anything else in the hospital setting.
It was and is seen as the only option.

Homebirths are much older than hospital births and if this is how we gave birth with that spiritual healer, mother, Midwife, why not go back to tradition.
The maternal & infant mortality rates aren't getting better, especially among the black community.
So, why not go back to a method that obviously worked before the medicalization of birth.

I am currently a Student Midwife, continuing my birth work journey of helping my community realize the importance of natural birthing.
Natural birthing brings the family closer and creates a spiritual bond that lasts until our time comes to return to the source. It creates the peace of mind, body, and soul that is so needed within our society.
Midwives assist in creating this space of peace.
Do you know any Midwives? Look up a Midwife in your area, get to know her and what drives her to do the work she does.
I have heard the call and answer to be a spiritual healer, the great Midwife.

Find Your Purpose and Fulfill It!

I have heard  My Call and it is a Might One!
I have taken that ever shaky first step into fulfilling a purpose.
I have answered the call to Midwifery.

If you told me just 7 years ago, that this is what I'd be led to, I may have said "Yea Right!"
Little did I know at the time I was already on a path to assisting women and families on their journey to parenthood.

Becoming a Birth Worker in 2012 only added the icing to the cake.
I am now headed to completing the decorations :-)

Midwifery is an age old practice that has been around since women have been giving birth.
A Midwife was someone's grandmother, mother, aunt, sister, friend, and yes of course sometimes even husband.
Obstetrics & Gynecology are the neonates, being introduced in the 1900's.
Why trust your body and mind to a new thing, when its predecessor has superlatively more experience?

Midwives are the mothers to mothers.
Caring, yet stern.
Knowledgeable, but studious.
And consistently reliable.

I look forward to filling this role and ushering in the next generation.

What is your purpose and have you begun to fulfill it?