Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 3

After reading, I grant you will be inspired to research more about birth, yourselves, and begin to make a change or continue to work to enhance our futures.

Why does it matter how a women gives birth? She just lays down and pushes the baby out, right? No need to worry how she feels or is she comfortable, right? No need for the father to be present, right? She will be alright by herself, left with only the help of the medical staff, right? She should have her baby in a hospital no matter what, right?

Well... I have a difference in opinion to all of these questions.

I have told you about my first and second birth. My first horrific ordeal in the hospital with a cesarean operation, which led to a rather comforting and serene second experience, a vaginal birth. However, I didn't stop there. I wanted more for my family and for myself in birth. I wanted a more natural connection to my body and to my ancestors who have given birth naturally before me.

2009-2010 
While my third pregnancy was unexpected, I knew from the onset that I wanted to have a natural birth. It took me a while to choose a careprovider because honestly I wanted this birth to be "mine".

What do I mean by "mine"? I wanted this birth to be untouched by outside influences. I wanted to labor the way I wanted without interruption, without me laying on my back to birth, being able to eat and drink when I wanted, move the way I wanted and not told what to do every second of every hour as done in the hospital. I wanted to birth "my way" on "my terms".

At 18 weeks, I finally decided to see a Midwife at a Birthing Center. A birthing center is a nice alternative to the hospital setting. It is decorated for a home feeling and you have access to a huge Jacuzzi tub, in case you want a water birth. A birth center is also close to a hospital or a separate wing in a hospital in case a transfer is needed. They are run by Certified Nurse Midwives or Certified Professional Midwives and have an OBgyn on call for emergencies.

Once again, I was seeing a European Midwife, so I had my reservations again. I really wanted a Nubian Midwife. Was that too much to ask? I mean, I am a Nubian woman. Can I have a careprovider that looks like me and will give a little more care to my feelings as a Nubian woman? I was on the verge of just delivering at home because it was important to me to have a care provider I could relate to.

Thankfully we moved to Georgia, so I had the opportunity to choose another provider but I was 32 weeks along by this time. I began seeing a Nubian male OBgyn that was referred to us by our tribal family. He was very caring and didn't mind that I was still looking for the careprovider I wanted and that I wanted a homebirth. I saw him for 3 weeks until my Granny Midwife found me at a health conference! YES! I was ecstatic, FINALLY!

Even though I was 35 weeks now, I was glad we were brought together for this birth. For the next few weeks we met for my prenatals and prepared for the birth. I began gathering my supplies and prepared food for everyone who would attend.

The time had come... Sunday afternoon, my family and I went for a walk around my apartment complex and afterwards I took a shower. I was 39 weeks. I went into labor that night around 11pm. I began calling everyone after 12. Two of my tribal sisters came and my Granny Midwife and doula came an hour later. I was progressing well. I experienced labor with my second birth but I eventually gave in to an epidural but this time there was no going back! LOLOL I was all in and felt like I was going to crazy!!!

On the outside, I was told I appeared calm and collected but in my head I wanted someone to knock me out or something cause anything was better than what I was going through. I was moving everywhere from the couch to the birthing ball, to the toilet and finally in the tub. The moment I laid in that tub, I felt like I was in HEAVEN!! How could some warm water feel soo good!!!!

After about 20 minutes I felt the urge to push, but my Midwife was telling me not to yet, but I really felt I needed to, so I did. She examined me briefly and I was fully dilated. My water broke and I also felt I had a bowel movement too, a few pushes later and I birth my baby boy Seqenenre Ma'at! He swam right into his father's hands...He placed him on my stomach and we lay in the tub for a while looking at each other. He was born at 4:48am. Nebu and Sahura were brought in to see their baby brother too :-)

I labored for about 5 hours but it seemed like forever of course.

We did have to transfer to the hospital due to hemorrhaging but all was well with baby. He was absolutely perfect and we didn't allow them to do anything to him. Even though I had to transfer to the hospital, I don't regret my decision in any way to have a home birth. I will do it again and again, because the same results are not guaranteed. And I am just fine.

The decision to birth the way she wants is totally up to the woman. She is to be educated on the process of pregnancy, changes in her body, how to care for herself, bonding between her and her mate, bonding with other children, the options of how she wants to birth and more.

Your careprovider is an invited guest into your world. You call the shots not them. You have the say in your care and what happens during your birth.

We need to change the face of birth. If the maternity care system continues on the road its headed the process of birth will no longer be natural or your own. Someone else will have charge over your body as it happens already now.

Your pregnancy, body, birth are your OWN!

Seqenenre Ma'at

He Who is the Sun of Righteousness and Justice

Our Fam with One More to ADD!

Call of the Midwife

A Midwife is someone who provides a service to women, families, and their community.
She is a confidant, educator, healer, counselor, activist, so many traits that describe her nobility.
A Midwife provides personable holistic prenatal care to an expecting woman.
What does personable holistic care mean?
Personable means you can relate to this person. She is among your particular demographic or can relate to your demographic, whether it be race, social status, economic status, etc. Confiding in her is a breeze.
Holistic means she approaches birth as a natural occurrence and treats it as such. Birth will happen whether a woman pushes her baby out or not. The Midwife is there to observe and look out for any complications that may arise. Birth is a natural event that SOMETIMES needs medical assistance. It is not an event that needs medical assistance from the start, unless there were prior complications before pregnancy or created during pregnancy.
Therefore, a Midwife is someone who can relate to you personally that provides a natural option to birth.
Midwives are proactive; meaning they are there to ensure the mother is maintaining great health, positive mental attitude, and keeping active, that will all lead to a healthy pregnancy, well labored birth, and healthy baby.

Midwives have existed for hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of years.
In recent years, the last 500, they were ousted as witches or evil meddlers of magic, all because they were so revered and known as spiritual healers.
Midwives were placed on such a pedestal this made men's (European men) ego flare with rage. Why should this person receive such accolades?
And with the onset of hospitals, which began as places for the ill and old to go to die, people were given no other choice but to have their babies in hospitals.
Why bring a new human being into a setting of disease?
There is money to be made in birth and with Midwives taking a holistic approach this does not make much money.
The medical industry needs you so they can charge you for your hospital stay, drugs, and anything else in the hospital setting.
It was and is seen as the only option.

Homebirths are much older than hospital births and if this is how we gave birth with that spiritual healer, mother, Midwife, why not go back to tradition.
The maternal & infant mortality rates aren't getting better, especially among the black community.
So, why not go back to a method that obviously worked before the medicalization of birth.

I am currently a Student Midwife, continuing my birth work journey of helping my community realize the importance of natural birthing.
Natural birthing brings the family closer and creates a spiritual bond that lasts until our time comes to return to the source. It creates the peace of mind, body, and soul that is so needed within our society.
Midwives assist in creating this space of peace.
Do you know any Midwives? Look up a Midwife in your area, get to know her and what drives her to do the work she does.
I have heard the call and answer to be a spiritual healer, the great Midwife.

Find Your Purpose and Fulfill It!

I have heard  My Call and it is a Might One!
I have taken that ever shaky first step into fulfilling a purpose.
I have answered the call to Midwifery.

If you told me just 7 years ago, that this is what I'd be led to, I may have said "Yea Right!"
Little did I know at the time I was already on a path to assisting women and families on their journey to parenthood.

Becoming a Birth Worker in 2012 only added the icing to the cake.
I am now headed to completing the decorations :-)

Midwifery is an age old practice that has been around since women have been giving birth.
A Midwife was someone's grandmother, mother, aunt, sister, friend, and yes of course sometimes even husband.
Obstetrics & Gynecology are the neonates, being introduced in the 1900's.
Why trust your body and mind to a new thing, when its predecessor has superlatively more experience?

Midwives are the mothers to mothers.
Caring, yet stern.
Knowledgeable, but studious.
And consistently reliable.

I look forward to filling this role and ushering in the next generation.

What is your purpose and have you begun to fulfill it?

The Best Milk is Breastmilk

Choosing to breastfeed your baby is as simple as 'taking the wrapper off your favorite treat and partaking of its delicate deliciousness'. The  mouth watering savoriness of that sweet treat making pirouettes on your taste buds. This is the same feeling your baby gets when s/he first enters the world and 'roots' for that sweet taste of life that comes from Your Breasts...

And how could anyone deny this life nourishing nectar to our progenies so easily? Simply put, through false media propaganda.

Who said it was wrong to breastfeed our babies? Who made it shameful? Who made the breasts into oversexed objects not fit to provide nourishment? And for Nubian women, the damage is three-fold.

Our breastfeeding downfall began with the rise of slavery. Most of us were unable to mother our children due to long, hard, back-breaking labor days, some of us 'wet nursed' or breastfed the slave masters' children and  in turn we fed our children cornmeal with sap(kind of like an oatmeal). This led to a physical, emotional, and mental separation of mother and child, that has ultimately and sadly lasted throughout our generations.

Fast-forward to our so called emancipation, sisters were still at a disadvantage to nurse their children having to, again, work long hours as sharecroppers, maids, etc, continuing the cycle to be unable to tend to their children.

And then we thought we got out of it and could begin to heal our wounds....BOOM....the infant formula business came out like a vampire at night, sucking whatever life we had out of our breasts and into their pockets. Infant formula is a billion dollar business. Now imagine how the world would look if all that money went into promoting breastfeeding. Yes, the CEOs and Fortune 500's would gain less financially but we would flourish more abundantly in intelligence, health, and family prosperity. And it also doesn't help that this society, quiet as kept, has a patriarchal viewpoint and puts the woman down. In my opinion, is the ego of the European man. He barely respects his own woman, so how could he respect us.
In the meanwhile, the media industry involving movies, videos, commercials, magazines, books, etc, promote the oversexualization of women and our life giving parts; laying the last assault to our femininity and goddessitivity.

YES, GODDESSITIVITY! In reproduction, as an egg is released from our ovary and is met by a sperm, the spark of life is ignited and we grow within our womb of triple darkness, a new being. We create, fashion and mold this new life within our wombverse. What we breathe, take in mentally, eat becomes one with this life and therefore we become a God.

YES, I AM A GOD! 

When this new life is ready, it will be expelled from one verse to the next: our world; which is big, bright, and ever changing.

But back to breastfeeding.....

Now that we have gone through the lows of our natural ability being stripped away, what is stopping us now from retrieving it? NO ONE, YOU STAND IN YOUR OWN WAY

You can and should breastfeed your baby. Why? Don't you want the best for your baby? Don't you want them to be strong and intelligent? Don't you want to be the best mother you can be? AND THE SIZE OF YOUR BREASTS DO NO MATTER!

Not judging, but I see Nubian mothers, who formula feed, curse at their children and scold them unnecessarily. They are children. Breastfeeding creates a loving bond that leads a mother to care more what happens to the child; not saying you won't scold them but the swearing may be left to a minimum or none at all.

If nature didn't intend for the female body to grow and nourish another living being then why is it capable of such a feat. Why, without anyone telling the body to, does it create milk once a woman has given birth.

It is what we are meant to do.

I am encouraging Nubian women to take a breast and feed your baby the best milk for our species! No other milk is good enough and only a poor substitute for the REAL THANG!

Breastfeed Your Baby!

I applaud those Mothers, like myself, who have given the breast back to their baby :-) We can do it.....

One breast at a time...

Info on breastfeeding

101 REASONS TO BREASTFEED

The Black Woman's Guide to Breastfeeding

BLACK WOMEN DO BREASTFEED

Why Black Women are Less Likely to Breastfeed

YOUR GUIDE TO BREASTFEEDING

Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 2

My goal for you at the end of this story is to be inspired to research and learn more about birth, YOURSELVES, and reach out to others using sound right knowledge to assist in their birth journey. If you come with your own opinion, make sure its reasoned well and won't be offensive before speaking.

Every woman has a birth story even if she has never had a baby.

You know from part one of my birth story that I had a cesarean operation due to medical conditions.

Here's my second birth story... My VBAC Story 2008

After having my cesarean I felt defeated but not broken. I took that as a sign for me to embrace more of 'ME' and learn more about the human body and whether or not I really had a chance of giving birth the way our bodies are meant to. I DO NOT agree with

"Once a cesarean, always a cesarean"

This is not true for everyone and more women can be successful in a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) if given the chance to a trial of labor. Trial of Labor is allowing the woman's body to naturally go into labor without interventions.

I was enjoying motherhood to my little Nebu and learning every step of the way. I began studying and watching videos on VBACs, reproductive system, health & nutrition, process of labor and birth, cesarean operation, labor process in hospital, birth centers and home, breastfeeding, differences between Midwife and OB/Gyn, labor assistants, differences in nurses, how to take care of your body after birth and infant care, and more. I was ALL in! I also studied different cultural aspects of birth. 

My husband and I were comforted with a reconnection to our African ancestry and had found a family of 'like minds'. We accepted and now practice our original customs and way of life.

Me and Little Nebu, pregnancy #2, no belly yet :-)

With all this new found information and applying my tribal foundations, I was ready to have another baby. We discussed it and felt it was a good time. Our son was almost 2 years old and we knew we wanted him to have a sibling close in age so they could grow up together, like we did with our siblings.

I also read that the minimum amount of time to wait before attempting a VBAC is 18 months, any time before this there could be complications but it's only a possibility. If you wait the full 18+ months, then your odds of having a successful VBAC are greater.

In about a month, I was pregnant! I am so fertile; it doesn't take long at all...LOL

I was elated and worried what our new OB would say about me attempting a VBAC. I chose this OB because he had previously worked with  my family members and they said he was a good doctor and he assisted in VBACs before. I was also considered high risk due to the cesarean, so it was more out of precaution. He was African American too and that put me more at ease because previous doctors I was seen by, of other races, were not so courteous to me or body. However, I didn't know how this doctor's treatment towards me would be either, even though we were of the same race. At our first visit, I was still nervous at what he may say but once we started going over my options, I felt a flood of relief. Of course, at every visit he asked if this is what I wanted and every time it was a YES or really HELL YES!

As my estimated due date drew closer, we began to discuss how my labor would be handled and what we can expect from him and the staff. We told him our birth plans; to come in as soon as we knew labor had begun, skin to skin contact, breastfeeding right away, as little interventions as possible (but can be reasoned), music, minimum lighting if possible, no shots, less traffic in and out of room, etc.

2nd pregnancy 36 weeks

Of course we went to the hospital a few times thinking I was in labor. I was given a shot to slow contractions so that I would make it to my due date. I was around 38 weeks at the time, so I allowed it. I didn't get this far in my first pregnancy so I definitely wasn't rushing 'baby girl' out!

On the night my labor began, naturally :-), FOR REAL this time, (39 weeks and 1 day) there was a clear sky and the stars and moon shined so bright. It was the clearest I had seen in a while; a perfect night for birthing some would say. My labor began around 11 pm (Tuesday) with sporadic contractions that were manageable, at first. I was creating a hole in our living room floor, trying to ease my labor pains. We decided to leave for the hospital around 2am. We had to drop our son off at my mother's and while we were in the car, I let out a loud moan and I hear my little Nebu say "It will be alright Momma" the words of babes are so sweet, that made my heart skip :-)

The car ride to the hospital was not a fun experience at all!

3 am (Wednesday) We finally arrived and were taken to a room to check in. We set up our radio playing African music and the 'Om' chant and hung our ancestral prayers on the walls. I was able to walk for about 2 hours before being confined to the bed for monitoring. Some hours later, one of the nurses did a cervical exam and I was 6 centimeters. After that, I said to myself, "You know what? Since they got me in this bed, I'm going to go get that darn epidural, at least I can get a nap in." So, I got one.

When attempting a VBAC, some doctors hold off as long as possible on giving an epidural because it can mask the pain of a uterine rupture. In my case, I waited long enough so I could get one, if I wanted. The epidural helped a little but I could still feel the contractions. I was able to sleep for a while though. The epidural did slow things down but I needed a nap, and I had labored over 12 hours...

I was really glad they weren't bothering me much at all about attempting the VBAC or that I had been in labor for a while and really just let me be. I think it was the power of our ancestors keeping the negativity OUT.

Well a full day had passed and it was around 8am (Thursday) I began to feel pressure in my bottom. A nurse came in and did another exam and I was fully dilated. YES! She left out to call my OB to let him know my progress. My husband and I took the time to prepare ourselves for the birth listening to the 'Om' chant.

My OB arrived and asked if he could check me himself and I was ready to push. There was a bit of excitement in the room because my goal was very near and the nurses were excited too. There was a Caucasian nurse in the room by my side coaching me but when I looked again wasn't there anymore. Once again I think my ancestors kicked her out after the ordeal of our first birth. My husband noticed that at the time of the birth we had an all Nubian staff present in the room, which was a complete 180 from our first experience. The only Nubians I saw during my first birth were either cleaning my room or bringing my meals...smh 

I began pushing and was having trouble at first because of that darn epidural. I couldn't really feel how to push so I had to listen to the nurses and OB on when to push. At one point I said I couldn't do it but my husband and nurse assured me that I could and she was almost out. Every time I pushed she would come out and slide back in when I stopped. My OB suggested an episiotomy (a cut to widen the vaginal opening) since her head had been in the birth canal a while and maybe she was having trouble coming out, of course I was on my back too. I took a few minutes to really think it over but I really felt I could do it without that, but I agreed. There was a sense of urgency to make that decision too. Once he made the incision, I pushed as hard as I could and she was out and on my chest.

"I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!", was all I could think. I was in shock, I couldn't really think or do anything else but look at her and say WE DID IT! I was pushing for probably 20 minutes and she was born at 11:10 am. That was soooo easy, is what I thought next (yea with an epidural), LOL, it really was. You think you can't do but you really CAN. YOU CAN!

I bonded with her for a while until the placenta was birth and they took her to clean and measure, still in the room with us, which didn't take too long but long enough. I began breastfeeding right away and she latched on like a PRO. I was surprised that was so easy too. We didn't allow them to take her anywhere without my husband present and she stayed with me the entire time during our hospital stay.

Successful VBAC, tired from a long days work :-)

During this hospital experience everything was different, from the staff, to how I was treated, even how my husband and I were together. No longer feeling lost and bewildered on what would happen next. We enjoyed the company of the nurses too. Everyone wanted to know what we were listening to, what our prayers meant, and just about us.

I thank my husband, MYSELF, and my ancestors for guiding me and for instilling within me the wisdom to seek more, ask questions and help others do the same.

Birth in this country has sadly taken a downward turn from it being a natural, beautiful process to being medically dramatic with unnecessary interventions.

Pregnancy is not a medical condition. It is a NATURAL condition that SOMETIMES needs medical attention.

Let us help each other give birth back to the Mother, so that she can make the decisions on her care and how she wants to give birth; even for those who need medical assistance. We can help them ask questions about their options for the best care to fit their needs. 

We can change the future of birth...

BIRTH MATTERS!

WE WILL DO IT!

A stable family sets a solid foundation for a strong community

And of course this is NOT the end of my birth journey. I went from there to have 2 successful home births, so there is still more to come...


Below are some websites to visit about VBAC:
13 VBAC Myths

VBAC

I CAN

Univ. of Maryland: VBAC

Honesty and Education to End Maternal & Infant Mortality

I recently read a story about a young Nubian sister who died giving birth at 32 weeks pregnant. The story says she may have gone into spontaneous labor and the baby was still born and apparently she bled to death. There wasn't much to read, which led to a flood of questions.
Read the Story Here

What made this young lady feel like she couldn't let anyone know she was pregnant? If she was noticeably pregnant, why didn't anyone assist her? When she went in to labor, why didn't she call out for help? What made her feel the way she did to go at this all alone?

First and foremost, I want to say to my Nubian sisters, it doesn't matter what AGE you are, bringing another being into this world is a BLESSING and humbling experience for any woman. You should not feel ashamed or afraid of what others will say. The only thing they should be saying is congratulations, giving words of encouragement.

It is TIME for us as woman to stop looking down on each other when women who are not married, young, or whatever her situation, comes into motherhood.

She is intelligent, strong, beautiful no mater what!

YES, it is best for a young lady to wait until SHE AND HER PARENTS have properly chosen a mate for her, have a courting period where both families get to know the other, have a ceremony of union and then start a family.

 

We know this is not always the case.

But however a child is brought into this world, should always be a time of celebration, growth and support for the new mother and her family.

There was no reason this young lady and her baby should not be among us today.

Let's us educate ourselves and our young ladies on the importance of knowing our bodies, the process of birth and motherhood, to put an end to senseless tragedies such as this, using evidence based information, so we can make sound right decisions using right knowledge.

This passing of mother and child most definitely could have been prevented had she simply asked for help or someone come to her aid before the event took place.

I am making the pledge to study, research, and apply what I have learned so the women I encounter will know how our bodies function, the process of birth to motherhood, how to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and more.

What will you do to ensure these events don't happen to the next young lady within our community?

Saving Our Future

The Real Danger in Black Communities

Maternal Marital Risk

Black Infant Mortality

Colorlines

Every Woman Has a Birth Story Part 1

Every woman has a birth story even if she has never had a baby. She knows someone who had a baby or maybe read an article, book or even overheard a conversation. However she knows her story, it will be enrooted in her for a lifetime. The GOOD, THE BAD, and THE UGLY of it all. These stories MATTER to our upcoming mothers to know what to expect and know all the glorious details of birth. I'm going to tell you my birth story.

It began in 2006...

At the tender age of 25 I became pregnant with my first child. What an exciting time, right?! I felt I had my life in order according to my family traditions. After high school I went to college, got a job, graduated, married my college sweetheart, and was on my way to motherhood. Nothing could have been sweeter. 

                                                    Me after I found out  I was Prego :-)

But... I really didn't know anything about my body, which lead to the most tragic course of events I've ever been through. At just 29weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia.

What the heck is pre-eclampsia?! Well...it is a combination of symptoms, such as: high blood pressure, protein in the urine, migraine headaches, blurred/spotted vision, to name the most obvious; these symptoms can lead to your body having seizures while pregnant and can lead to coma or loss of baby/mother.

By the way I was seeing a Caucasian CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) and I guess I was planning to have my baby in the hospital anyway since I didn't know any different, but oh how the boat rocked...

I was admitted to the hospital for a grueling month and it could have been longer. I was pumped with medications that made me feel like a boulder, HEAVY. I couldn't switch sides by myself. My husband literally had to help me switch from my right to left side and vice versa and lying on my back was not an option. I think I was seen by every doctor on the labor ward. There was someone new everyday! I didn't like that AT ALL. WHY can't I continue to see one person??!! It was a teaching hospital. If I had known, I would have told them I didn't want to be seen by students, but I figured they needed the experience so why not, but now I will say HELL NO! Let somebody else be your guinea pig.

                                                                    Before Surgery

At 33 weeks the Nurses noticed my baby's heart rate was in "distress" so they tried to induce me. I knew it would not work because I was too early, of course. After the induction didn't work, I was scheduled for a cesarean operation. When I think about it now, they never said how his heart rate was during the 24 hours I was being induced. Hmmmmm...Maybe they just wanted my behind up out of there to fill my bed with someone who was actually in labor...

One thing I absolutely DID NOT like was how many times that darn Caucasian OBgyn was checking my cervix to see if I had dilated. And I could tell the Nurse wanted to say something about him rechecking but even Nurses opinions get overlooked by the OB's because some of them have this attitude of "What I say goes and your just a Nurse what the hell do you know" Oh and my husband didn't like it one bit either! Honestly, I felt like I was being molested, FOR REAL

After that unpleasantness, I had the cesarean operation and I got to see my little baby boy for about 1 min and then he was whisked away to the NICU. He was 3lbs 6oz, but he was healthy and strong. He was breathing on his own and all his organs and systems were working perfectly. He was kept in the hospital for a month under "observation" and until he gained 1lbs, they said. We feel he was being held hostage until they said he could leave. I mean it was there decision to do the cesarean in the first place, now he's being held captive!

(This video is a NICER version of cesarean. Keep in mind fetal distress, dystocia, multiple births and breech are not always reasons for getting this operation)

During my recovery, I pumped my milk but I was never encouraged to just BREASTFEED, even when I visited him the day after surgery. I wish the Lactation Consultant (who brought me the pump!!!) Nurses or SOMEONE would have said the best thing for him as a preemie is for you to breastfeed since he is doing good. Even when I would visit him at the hospital, no one said go ahead and breastfeed. NO ONE! And even though I was pumping, whenever my husband would deliver the milk the Nurses informed him that if they run out of breast milk they give him formula. SAY WHAT?!?!?!

                                                                     Hospital Visit

Needless to say, I was defeated and when my baby did come home I continued to formula feed him. If only I had that support and encouragement, I know I would have breastfed because I have breast fed 3 babies after that! And the fact that I pumped for a month was screaming to SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO BREASTFEED! I did read a book on breastfeeding but I still needed that extra encouragement to JUST DO IT.

The reason for acknowledging what race my care providers were is because treatment of black women is different compared to those of other races. Not only that, the treatment was very impersonal.  The doctors or students didn't care about how I felt or didn't ask what I thought about the treatments. They said everything as if that was the final word and there was no changing it or discussing any options.

My subsequent births were with African American care providers and my care with them was the complete opposite. I felt because we were of the same race they could empathize with my need for respect and to be treated like a competent person who can make my own decisions. I'm sure not all Caucasian care providers are like that and maybe not all African American are so caring. But this was my experience...

My first birth was not what I expected and left me fragile, but not broken. I researched anything on birth, vaginal birth after cesarean, health, nutrition, conception, home birth vs hospital, birth centers, Midwife vs OB, Doulas, laws on birth, even how the reproductive system works to gain a better understanding.

With time and patience, I grew to be the person I am now. Eager to help other women realize the potential for their birth and not allow it to be another tragic tale added to negative statistics.

Every woman deserves to birth the way she sees it in her mind, wherever she wants and when her body says its ready.

To Be Continued.....

                                                               Little Nebu 1yr old :-)